Notice to People that Visit Our Home:
1) The dog lives here. You don’t.
2) If you don’t want the dog to be near you, stay outside.
3) Yes, she has some disgusting habits. So do I and so do you.
4) OF COURSE she smells like a dog.
5) It’s her nature to sniff you, please feel free to sniff her.
6) I like her better than I like most people.
7) To you she’s a dog. To me she’s an adopted daughter who is hairy, walks on all fours, and doesn’t speak clearly. I don’t have a problem with any of these things.
8) Dogs have advantages on kids. They eat less, don’t ask for money all the time, are easier to train, usually come when called, never drive your car, don’t hang out with drug-using friends, don’t drink or smoke, don’t worry about whether they have the latest fashions, don’t need a gazillion dollars for college…and if they get pregnant you can sell the kids.
(unfortunately, author unknown)